لقراءة النسخة العربية اضغط هنا
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It was an ordinary evening..
A typical dinner, bedtime story, children were already in bed, TV was on , I was online on Facebook , sounds of bombarding could be heard from far….. Nothing was unusual.
Suddenly , a clear sound of rocket falling close, it broke the silence of tonight..
It was pretty much close, was it possible it missed ?
Even though fire shooting was going on non-stop for few weeks so far, however rockets seemed to be always far, but it was close enough now , smoke smell could be sensed, the smoke was also visible out of the window despite the darkness of that night.
Another two rockets, followed by other two.. it was an official bombarding!
There was no shelter down the building, no safe place but a narrow entrance in the house which assumed to be the safest spot in the house.
We put matt in the entrance corridor and laid my sleeping kids on it, and there was me ! on that matt sleepless, dating that long night
Sound of launching a rocket, injects flows of thoughts before it hits the ground
Another rocket launching, I testify that there is no God but Allah and that Muhamed is his prophet, the rocket hit the target
Between launching and hitting the ground, a chain of thoughts.
What could be worse? To be blown into pieces by a rocket shell so we all die? I assumed this was the top worse possibility
Wait there is even worse, probably one of us survives, what if it was me! How cruel would it be?!
I might probably get used to the fact that I lost my family and I would move on with courage, faith, or maybe numbness.. or probably there might be a disaster, that me or my beloved ones might get a permanent disability .
A blast! We were alive! Thank God
Was I supposed to be relieved because I wasn’t the one targeted? Or because it fell on another family? What a contradiction! I was happy because I survived while another blood was shed , another family lost someone few meters away.
Launching another rocket was heard again, I won! I won! If this rocket put an end to my life, so let be it!! I’m sure I hurt no one in my life, I killed nobody at least! While that toy behind the missile launching trigger, that commander who gives the order, that chairman who uses all of those for a sake of temporary position, those guys will be cursed over and over again till judgment day.
Another rocket hits the floor, I’m still alive
And another missile launching..
I will die and be remembered by family and friends, the mother, the daughter, the sister, the friends and the colleague I was all of those. I thought I have done pretty much well in all those roles.
While that person sitting up high in his palace.. Humanity will remember him too, but in another aspect, as a murderer, as an insane, as a slaughter and a dictator.
Yes I won! I beated you , you fool, let the missile come and blow me up right now..
A rocket hit a closer target than the one preceded it.
Again , a gunfire started
My children.. I had a look at those sleeping innocent faces during all that night noise, my heart got filled with serenity
Ever since flu of murders started in my country I started to tell them stories of dignity and freedom.
I lectured you my children , words were older than your age a bit, image of you left alone in this cruel world was hunting my mind so often
I tried to plant seeds I had carried within me, dignity, justice, freedom of opinion, respect of others, respect of differences, love for the country, reject despotism and hate for tyrant.
I was pretty sure that oneday i would harvest what i had planted… now that it’s coming true, i trust you, you my children will go on, no matter how road is long and tiring..
Another rocket launching ..
You idiot, haven’t you understood yet? What’s next?
Your missiles will ran out one day, no matter how far that day is, it will come eventually, you will look around and find nothing but curses hunting you, ghosts of victims squeezing your throat.
While me, either i make it through this crisis and tell the world that i was there and survived, as it was my land, my passion, story of my life, and i will go on , to build what you destroyed, i will find other people left just like me, and with them … i will build.
or! I die and get reunioned with people have died before, i would tell them how much we suffered after their departure, and i would wait with them..till forever
in both cases, lovely people will be always there around me, do you see now how fool you are?!
Soon after i didn’t hear rocket sounds anymore ..but ..somehow, i was still alive.
يومية خاصة من يوميات سورية لإذاعة بلدنا
Special diary from a Syrian diary to Baladna broadcast
Written by: Syrian Freedom Bird
Performance: Fille Syrienne
Production Design: Monis Bukhari
Audio Editing: Fille Syrienne
English Subtitle: Sydney Bristo and Raneem Qubatros
Director: Monis Bukhari